Repressed memory of the day

My grandparents died when I was very young (less than 10 or so), so death was easy for me to accept. That's probably why I'm comfortable with my mortality. At that age, I accepted things for the way they were. I didn't question religion, I thought the government knew what it was doing, and I thought that it was normal for non-TV families to never show any affection to each other and humiliate their only son/brother at every opportunity.

However, as I got older, I realised that not all was well. Religion, as it was presented to me, was a lie. Families are supposed to have a certain amount of respect for their kids, and so on. This knowledge led to my self-alienation. I still feel very uncomfortable in groups and don't function well on my own. Had I been born twenty to thirty years later, I would be diagnosed with ADD and possibly autism. Since I at least give the appearance of being a mostly functional adult, getting help with my learning disability is very difficult, not to mention my social "issues". By the time most people reach my age, they've already been through many relationships and have possibly been able to get on to being a middle aged adult. I'm still stuck in my adolescent fears and problems.